Ep. 87 Making Change Stick With A Compelling "WHY"
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Ep. 87 Making Change Stick With A Compelling Why
How often have you tried to make a change in your life only to have motivation fizzle out sooner than you expected? You’re left disappointed in yourself and discouraged about trying again. We have found that the secret to making change that lasts is all about your “why” behind it.
When you are clear on a compelling reason WHY you want this change, you are far more likely to keep up on the hard part of making change.
In today’s episode we chatted about:
How you can know if a change will stick before you even start
How to find what your compelling reason really is by going 3 levels deeper
The power of energizing feelings that propel change
How to stay committed even when you aren’t perfect at your new goal
Links Mentioned In This Episode
Our favorite resources to learn more about your personality & Enneagram type
The Road Back to You - A great book about the Enneagram personality framework
The Enneagram Institute - a great resource to learn more about the Enneagram
Find out what your Enneagram type is by taking this test.
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Recap of Episode
Episode Snippet
“Positive emotions like love, joy, freedom, fulfillment, and peace are ENERGIZING emotions that propel the change we’re trying to make. They create power behind the change.
When that happens, we can really create meaningful change because it’s coming from an energizing, powerful, almost effortless place.
But when we try to make change from a place of guilt, shame, or obligation?
That’s never a formula for success. These negative emotions are draining, heavy, and full of effort. Instead of change being propelled, it’s being dragged or pulled along. No wonder it doesn’t last! There’s so much more effort and sweat involved.
This concept has so much potential to help you make any change you want. We need a compelling reason WHY we want to change SO THAT we can harness the power of positive, energizing emotions.” - Kristin
The Best Question To Ask Yourself When You Want Change To Stick
Ask yourself: What emotion is propelling me to change?
This will help you know if a change will stick before you even start making a change.
You want an emotion that is energizing and PROPELS change forward rather than dragging it forward with negative emotions
Positive emotions leave room for flexibility & are more effortless
Love
Joy
Freedom
Negative Emotions can hold you back because they are heavy and filled with drama
Shame
Guilt
Obligation
How To Trust Yourself
The key is to be committed while giving yourself flexibility!
Remember the point is to learn and grow, not to be perfect!
Have you ever had a goal and missed a day?…Guess what that is totally fine and normal! Missing a day doesn’t mean quitting!
It’s SO important to show yourself you can be committed to something, trust and rely on yourself, but also go about it with more love than frustration.
We think if we’re super rigid with ourselves, we won’t let ourselves get away with not missing a day. But being gentle and flexible means you DO trust yourself to come back when you miss a day.
Finding Your Compelling Reason “WHY”
It’s important to find out what your “WHY” is.
It has to be YOUR compelling reason why, not one that just sounds good or that others use.
WHY are you really working on your goal? WHY do you really want to change?
When you are clear on a compelling reason WHY you want this change, you are far more likely to keep up on the hard part of making change.
Ask Yourself “WHY” 3 Times!
Asking yourself “WHY?” 3 times can help you dive deeper and find your compelling reason why!
Examples:
I’m going to start eating better. -> Why? I don’t like how my body looks and I feel tired a lot. -> Why? I feel embarrassed about my body/eating habits. -> Why? How do you want to feel? I want to feel strong and energetic. -> Why? I want to BE strong and energetic.
I want to start a business. -> Why? I have a good idea that can help people. -> Why? I want to make a contribution. -> Why? I want to use my gifts and fulfill my potential.
I’m going to floss every day. -> Why? Because I’m supposed to and I want healthy teeth. -> Why really? Because I don’t want the dentist to guilt me. -> Why? I don’t like to feel guilt. -> So… are you still going to floss every day? And why? Yes… because doing it is better than feeling guilty about it all the time.
What do you want to work on? Try asking yourself “WHY” 3 times and see if you can find your own compelling reason why you really want to make the change.
If you liked this episode then you’ll really LOVE these ones!
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